an ultimate test of Ego… #004


To trust the Divine Timing is an ultimate test of Ego…

Ive been struggling with that idea all day today, and the battle in my head was bloo-o-o-dy…  as if I was protecting something I realized later...

And I'm just realizing now, Ive been protecting a Potential.

Potential for all things good.

[...]

I’m sorry, i needed some help to get here and hold this concept, long enough to grasp it a little tighter.

 

Why is it, that going deeper inside takes you farther away from people around you? 

Is it truly the only way to MEET eventually? To connect to someone from your authentic space means to simply recognize Yourself again. “Again“, because we forget, we let it dissolve, Or Finally… because in some cases we never had a chance or don’t quite know how to Be.

So you see Yourself reflecting in all your surroundings, encounters, and close relationships. Not always the most lovely experience, humbling for sure and certainly expansive. If you just allow.

Interesting... I pulled a Cobra card this morning: "if threatened, their first choice would be to disappear quickly and will only react aggressively if provoked.” (unlocking words) well… welcome to my world… Halo… 

I keep finding myself on this path on my own again and again, but I don’t think there is any other way for me really… my impulsive, reclusive nature… and a necessary, solitary state of being that cannot be crossed by just anyone anymore. 

So i keep pulling back to find security… I definitely find comfort here, but also a quiet gentle self-assurance comes after a while… 

and Here is where lesson comes: to trust the Divine timing… 

meaning

“where you are is exactly where you need to be”

"a set time for every matter, event, and thing to happen”

“one of the ways that the universe looks out for you”

 

Chill out.

Seriously...

All is good.

 

To trust the Divine timing is an ultimate test of Ego, which always seems to know better…

Well, it doesn’t.

To find yourself in a state of deep gratitude for life that has completely shifted your experience is to find yourself in a position of advantage. Understanding that "everything has everything to do with constantly getting better and evolving yourself" should put you at ease. To believe in yourself, is the biggest advantage you can have in any given situation. 

Grattitude is a concept I needed to learn to understand.

In my youth grattitude was a forced on me idea that would put me in contrast with those who have less or who have it harder… “you should be grateful! don’t complain!” whereas Gratitude is supposed to be a positive and purposeful emotion… 

what works

is a willingness to give oneself over.

there is an irresistible surrender that can happen. In life... in a situation... and between two people definitely...

There is nowhere to go but here

"Here", there is nothing that can harm you.

There is no need to question anything a million times

 

But there's always been a choice, where you can take it or leave it…

It's as if you're always invited, but not fully accepted.

The idea of someone having a choice to love you or not is very un-comforting…

It freaks me out and shakes me to the core.

 

I realize now, you don’t really see me. And most important, i did’t really see me either…

That is why you’re so sensitive to my words, my own personal, have-nothing-to-do-with-you emotions.

When someone gives up on you, you’ve given up ideas of future and past.

You have to thank the people who throw you off. It’s all in your favor anyway. You need to be in the right relationships to really move forward. Release all negative emotional connections in your life so you can truly focus now. Commit. 

So I say Thank You, and know nothing.

"Life isn’t just about receiving endless positive energy and good vibes. It’s also about broadcasting those things and creating more beauty. “ 

Here I am than, and there are forks on the road too, because there is many ways to get to the place you want to head towards now.

How do you know exactly which way to go and commit to fully? There’s no question anymore. It has to be 100% definite Yes on every level of your being that THAT ROAD feels better than the other one. That doesn’t mean there is no fear, or that it will be easy. None of it also means that you have to ditch anything. You can adjust and rearrange, shift point of view or look at things from a different perspective. And believe me… your Ego will most likely put Guilt right in front of the path that you really want to chose, it will probably tell you you’re selfish and than will add some Doubt and disguise as good intentions too... It’s brilliant in a way… What are you going to do though?

Those moments don’t come out of nowhere I realize now… you are being prepared for it along the way, Your strength is being tested, your resilience, your integrity. Your deep digging for authenticity allows you to stand stronger and stronger in your decisions. From a healthy perspective it all makes sense. Why fight it??? You know it’s for your own Greatness.

Your unquestionable emotions and feelings, the burning hunger for what’s missing are the key.

I suggest you bring back some magic to this moment.

or twist it to fit it into your own authentic way.

Look at your life and all aspects of it and understand why is it the way it is… its based on what you equate yourself to… now, between your conscious and subconscious many lies are said… look at your behavior… the World responds to it perfectly.

Don’t freak out. Don’t trip out. Don’t rush… Break through… Move through… Experience Thyself…

(it’s a test)

With Love,

Ewa M.

 

Illustration: Evvooshka

Muse & Model: Allison Laakko